Thursday, 13 December 2012

But Is It Christmas? - Jesus and the Dinosaurs

Yeah I know, the dinosaurs died out in the flood. But God is God and he put a few aside to visit the Baby Jesus, cos kids dig dinosaurs.

Check your bible it's all there...

 Luke 2:1-38 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed, this was due to the migration of great beasts from the African plains and the amount of money needed to control their numbers.  (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor in Syria.)  And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city  .  And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David.)  To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

     And so it was, that while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.  And whilst the pterodactyls sang outside, she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn, as the dinosaur hunters had taken up most of the rooms, for lo, the Brontosaurii were in season.

     And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night to guard them from Velociraptor attack.  And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid, but not as afraid as they were of the Tyrannosaurus Rex that nested in the vicinity making beds from the downy hair of sheep and their masters.  And the angel said unto them, "Fear not; for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people and dinosaurs.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord."

And one of the shepherds said "Don't you mean "Who is Christ the Lord?" but the angel ignored him.

     And this shall be a sign unto you; "Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger."  and suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host and some dinosaurs praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

     And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. But we ought to take all the sheep with us for verily those velociraptors look particularly hungry."

     And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.  And they gathered around the manger and were struck into silence by the sight of many great beasts; meat eater and plant eater alike gathered around the holy child. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child and how he had brought peace even to the savage breasts of these ferocious creatures.  And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.  But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.  And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

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