I truly love this parody. I always felt that Twin Peaks was Christmassy what with all the pine, the tremendous jumpers and the Great Northern Hotel. Here it is in all it's glory and lyrics for your delectation...
PETE
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
BOBBY
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
BOB
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
COOPER
Diane, on the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
LUCY
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: five jelllyyy donnuuuutts.
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
PETE
On the sixth day of Christmas my sweetheart gave to me: six fish in a percolator.
LUCY
Five jelllyyy donnuuuutts.
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
BOBBY
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: seven one-armed men.
PETE
Six fish in a percolator.
LUCY
Five jelllyyy donnuuuutts.
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
COOPER
Diane, on the eighth day of Christmas I had a strange dream: eight dancing midgets.
BOBBY
Seven one-armed men.
PETE
Six fish in a percolator.
LUCY
Five ... oh ... Five jelly donnuuuutts. Sorry, oops.
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
BOB
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: nine owls lurking.
COOPER
Eight dancing midgets.
BOBBY
Seven one-armed men.
PETE
Six fish in a percolator.
LUCY
Five jelly donuts!
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
BOBBY
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: ten drooling Leo's.
BOB
Nine owls lurking.
COOPER
Eight dancing midgets.
BOBBY
Seven one-armed men.
PETE
Six fish in a percolator.
LUCY
Five ... jelly ... donuts!
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
LUCY
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: eleven cherry pies.
BOBBY
Ten drooling Leo's.
BOB
Nine owls lurking.
COOPER
Eight dancing midgets.
BOBBY
Seven one-armed men.
PETE
Six fish in a percolator.
LUCY
Five jelllyyy donnuuuttts.
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
PETE
On the twelveth day of Christmas my sweetheart gave to me: twelve cups of coffee!
LUCY
Eleven cherry pies.
BOBBY
Ten drooling Leo's.
BOB
Nine owls lurking.
COOPER
Eight dancing midgets.
BOBBY
Seven one-armed men.
PETE
Six fish in a percolator.
LUCY
Five thousaannnddd donnuuuttts. What!?
COOPER
Four talking logs.
BOB
Three possessed souls.
BOBBY
Two secret diaries.
PETE
And a body ... dead ... wraaapped in plaaaastiic.
JOHNNY HORNE
Amen ... Amen.
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